Let’s play a game with you today. I am sure that you will not have difficulty as our game material will consist of materials that you can easily find in your immediate environment. Now grab a chair and get on it and say something angrily to your spouse, who is crouching in front of the chair, and even point your index finger at him so that your body language gives strength to this threatening mise-en-scène. Then switch places with your partner and repeat this game.
So why are you doing these?
For him, this is the general communication model we establish with our children when we get angry and angry with them in our daily life. What you felt when your spouse scolded you while looking down on you in front of the chair, most likely, your child will have similar feelings when you scold him. This little game will at least support your efforts to empathize with your child.
Squatting in a position where you can easily make eye contact while talking to or listening to your child will ensure that you have substantial power to make your later communication efforts successful and will make him/her more willing to cooperate with you.
One of the most common communication accidents in the mother-father-child triangle is hidden in the sentence “You are a child, you do not understand”. Theoretically, being a child means having little of the knowledge and equipment that adults have. But where do you think the things we adults have and have lost now? Think about how many adult people you know who laugh out loud for no reason, are equally happy with a wafer or a toy, and make you feel love and unlovedness in all their simplicity.
Although we adults have gone through ages when we have difficulty understanding them, we expect them to understand our own ages and lives, which they cannot even imagine, and to act according to those rules. We can consider him running freely on the green grass, maybe rolling and soiling his clothes as mischief, pouring it on himself while trying to eat, clumsiness, jumping around the house and singing meaningless songs, loudness, and scenarios from his dream world as lying. But in fact, these are nothing but values that we have had before but have forgotten. If a child had the vocabulary of us adults, perhaps his first sentence would be: “You’re an adult, you wouldn’t understand.”
